He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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