And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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