she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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