May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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