I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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