I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
