I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
