It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
