Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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