are you still at the devil's house?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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