We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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