He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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