I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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