Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
