i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
