You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
