I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
