She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
