sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
