Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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