If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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