dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
