I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
