Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My bed smells like the plague
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