well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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