All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In America we eat man semen.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
