Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
