The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.