I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.