the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes