I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that