Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize