We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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