either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?