I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.