I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize