I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch