It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.