he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
