I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
