I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize