i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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