Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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