just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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