I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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