Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize