The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
