I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
