After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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