Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
