either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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