used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
zippers are such a cool invention
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
