Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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