I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize