Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
