My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
