no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
