Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
