My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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