the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i've created a new STD.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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