even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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