David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
