i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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