i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
